Last night I had a dream. I went for my 2 month scan and they told me thats it, I am in remission, no need for the further 4 months of chemo. Since I had responded so well there was absolutely no chance it was ever relapsing. I left the hospital. I woke up. The disappointment of waking up made me cry. It made me realise how much I want this to end, and end for good.
Today I am going to an awards ceremony lunch for work (I still get invites to the nice events without actually working, should have gotten cancer years ago!). Time to stick on my wig and a lovely dress and smile a lot. It's a lovely way to spend a day, still wish I could go back into dreamland though. Then again, it was raining dreamland and the sun is splitting the trees in real land. Maybe it's a sign? Or maybe my Irish subconscious can't fathom sun and so just sticks in rain as the default setting to all dreams? Either way, out into the sun I go.....
Today I am going to an awards ceremony lunch for work (I still get invites to the nice events without actually working, should have gotten cancer years ago!). Time to stick on my wig and a lovely dress and smile a lot. It's a lovely way to spend a day, still wish I could go back into dreamland though. Then again, it was raining dreamland and the sun is splitting the trees in real land. Maybe it's a sign? Or maybe my Irish subconscious can't fathom sun and so just sticks in rain as the default setting to all dreams? Either way, out into the sun I go.....
Hi Sona! Reading your blog is inspirational! You really must publish it once you're better. Sending you lots of love. Vanessa (Nick's cousin) xxxxx
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