I always hated when these blogs disappeared into nothingness when I was going through treatment. And yet, here it is - my much loved blog that gave me such an outlet going unloved for almost 2 years. 2 busy years! 6 months after the last post my wonderful little baby boy was born and 1 crazy year later I am 4 months pregnant with his little brother/sister.
Today is world cancer day. Not sure what that means or what it achieves. To 'create awareness of cancer'? Who isn't aware? The way I see it there are two types of people: those who have been personally affected by cancer in some way and do, and always will, live with the effects or those who haven't and can't, until they are in the unfortunate group 1, truly understand anything beyond the general 'awareness' that these days remind us of. Maybe a day of remembrance? A day to think of those who are not lucky enough to be here writing meaningless, ranting blog posts to release into cyber space nearly 4 years after the diagnosis of this undiscriminating disease? My more cynical side says it's just another money making day. I hope some good comes of said money.
So any lasting effects of my illness/ treatment? Some lingering neuropathy which I don't notice anymore and the subsequent ear ringing which I don't notice anymore, straight hair instead of curly which is my life long dream, a dull, background, fear of relapse that will probably never leave me. Really though, the only thing that really gets to me now is, due to the suspicions I have that I inherited this 'non-heriditary' rare illness that has hit 3 generations of my very small family, the fear that I will pass it on to my children. I think about this every day. I coped with myself being so sick. I'm not sure the same could be said if it was him, or soon to be them. But, all we can do is live happily while being vigilant for symptoms. After all, if you've got to get cancer this is the one to get and all that reassuring stuff people spout when they are awkwardly trying to say something positive!
I can see that bizarrely this blog still gets hits, so whoever you are, I hope you see that very soon this can all be a memory. Keep going and do it with a smile. I really believe it helps. Good luck :)
Today is world cancer day. Not sure what that means or what it achieves. To 'create awareness of cancer'? Who isn't aware? The way I see it there are two types of people: those who have been personally affected by cancer in some way and do, and always will, live with the effects or those who haven't and can't, until they are in the unfortunate group 1, truly understand anything beyond the general 'awareness' that these days remind us of. Maybe a day of remembrance? A day to think of those who are not lucky enough to be here writing meaningless, ranting blog posts to release into cyber space nearly 4 years after the diagnosis of this undiscriminating disease? My more cynical side says it's just another money making day. I hope some good comes of said money.
So any lasting effects of my illness/ treatment? Some lingering neuropathy which I don't notice anymore and the subsequent ear ringing which I don't notice anymore, straight hair instead of curly which is my life long dream, a dull, background, fear of relapse that will probably never leave me. Really though, the only thing that really gets to me now is, due to the suspicions I have that I inherited this 'non-heriditary' rare illness that has hit 3 generations of my very small family, the fear that I will pass it on to my children. I think about this every day. I coped with myself being so sick. I'm not sure the same could be said if it was him, or soon to be them. But, all we can do is live happily while being vigilant for symptoms. After all, if you've got to get cancer this is the one to get and all that reassuring stuff people spout when they are awkwardly trying to say something positive!
I can see that bizarrely this blog still gets hits, so whoever you are, I hope you see that very soon this can all be a memory. Keep going and do it with a smile. I really believe it helps. Good luck :)
