There is a lot of waiting involved with cancer. Waiting for doctors appointments, waiting for results, waiting for your drip to finish, waiting to recover before your next hit, waiting for months to pass until it's all just a memory.
Today's waiting however is even more surreal, if that's possible. I'm waiting, by the phone, until 930am which is when the wig place opens so I can call and beg them to shave my head today. Any ambiguity surrounding my feelings on the subject of Shave Vs Save was extinguished this morning when I, as usual, took the hair tie out of my hair. The sight was so incredible I sent pictures to Nick and some friends. I won't post them on here, it's upsetting for people to see. Rest assured though that head shaving is not something a person, especially a person with an already existing and fairly ironic 'haircut' phobia (bad teenage experience, if any of you unearth THOSE photos you will more than likely push a relatively fragile cancer patient over the edge) takes lightly. It takes a lot of hair loss to make this person come to this decision. In fact, it made me regret not doing it instantly when it started coming out. Be warned any soon to be members of the chemo club- shave, don't try to save. The rest of you don't be jealous, its a really really really crap club.
Wait over, I got through, they're going to egg-ify me at 2pm. 3pm manicure has been cancelled. What a substitute.
Last night in my turmoil I got a supportive text from a friend ' You love new experiences, think of it as an adventure'. Hmmmm not exactly what I mean when I say I love adventure, but I see the point. A change in mindset is good. Mind over matter once again. Think of it as something crazy I would never have otherwise had the guts to do (lets leave aside for now the fact that I would have never WANTED to have the guts to do it) and go for it. Just another crazy thing I did that will make me a more interesting conversationalist! You never know, I may have the most beautiful head under all this hair that within seconds I am snapped up and become a multi-millionaire head model. Ok, I'm getting carried away.
This concludes my final post as a regular haired human being. Over and out.
Today's waiting however is even more surreal, if that's possible. I'm waiting, by the phone, until 930am which is when the wig place opens so I can call and beg them to shave my head today. Any ambiguity surrounding my feelings on the subject of Shave Vs Save was extinguished this morning when I, as usual, took the hair tie out of my hair. The sight was so incredible I sent pictures to Nick and some friends. I won't post them on here, it's upsetting for people to see. Rest assured though that head shaving is not something a person, especially a person with an already existing and fairly ironic 'haircut' phobia (bad teenage experience, if any of you unearth THOSE photos you will more than likely push a relatively fragile cancer patient over the edge) takes lightly. It takes a lot of hair loss to make this person come to this decision. In fact, it made me regret not doing it instantly when it started coming out. Be warned any soon to be members of the chemo club- shave, don't try to save. The rest of you don't be jealous, its a really really really crap club.
Wait over, I got through, they're going to egg-ify me at 2pm. 3pm manicure has been cancelled. What a substitute.
Last night in my turmoil I got a supportive text from a friend ' You love new experiences, think of it as an adventure'. Hmmmm not exactly what I mean when I say I love adventure, but I see the point. A change in mindset is good. Mind over matter once again. Think of it as something crazy I would never have otherwise had the guts to do (lets leave aside for now the fact that I would have never WANTED to have the guts to do it) and go for it. Just another crazy thing I did that will make me a more interesting conversationalist! You never know, I may have the most beautiful head under all this hair that within seconds I am snapped up and become a multi-millionaire head model. Ok, I'm getting carried away.
This concludes my final post as a regular haired human being. Over and out.
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