Just home from work after my first post-chemo day back. It was an eye opening day for two reasons.
Firstly, how petty, irrelevant and unimportant are the same everyday issues that two weeks ago would have concerned me. I was never one to be stressed, but always concerned. I can't help but look at these same things now with a kind of sadness at how they ever used to bother me. Regret that I spent the last 6 years (my relatively short working life) worrying about something that, without your health, means nothing. It strikes me that for so many of us, our priorities are way out of whack. At least 5 of our 7 days a week are spent working, one recovering from the 5 days work, and one being enjoyed. I think there's a lesson in this. I also know however, that once I'm better I will probably start working harder than ever before in order to catch up on the time I've wasted on the couch. Maybe I need to take action to ensure that I don't have this option. Like booking my next travel stint!
Secondly, it instantly struck me how much of a setback this illness was going to be work-wise. How much it already has and is going to take away from everything I've spent the last 6 years working up to. I finally felt like I was getting somewhere, now I feel like I've been knocked back a few years. This is gutting. It's been a fight to get to where I was, an every day battle, literally. I'm not sure I'll have it in me to do the battle again when this is over. This may be a blessing in disguise, a chance to step back and really look at where I am heading. It is however the first time I felt that this illness has won, even in some small way.
On my arrival home, feeling not-so-happy, I found that a package had been delivered for me. Among other items, it contained a book, one the greatest ever written on the subject of human struggle. This was thoughtful, the inscription in the book however was incredible. It needs to be said that I don't know the sender very well, I met him only a few times before circumstances meant he was no longer directly involved in my life. He has however faced more than his share of problems in his similarly short life and this has given him the ability to write incredibly strength-inspiring words. His struggles have given him the gift of such empathy, I can only hope mine will do the same for me. Once again, my resolve falters, someone boosts me back up. Thank you for your thoughtful, inspiring and impeccably-timed gift!
Sanctimonious "I have seen the light"/ "poor me and my thwarted career plans" spiel over, I am taking requests for hair styles I can cut into my hair before the shaving. I have had: mullet, step, mohawk and platinum blonde. I have had to reject the platinum blonde (I think this alone will make all my hair fall out, I'll do it in a wig for ya instead!) but all others will be fulfilled. Anyone else with requests needs to get them in asap - I think it'll be buzz cut time by next week at the rate my hair (and eyelashes - they keep falling out and getting stuck in my eye- grrrr) is coming out. Requests on a postcard to the usual address.
Dinner-a-la-Nick is served, this lucky, spoiled and nausea-free lady is off to tuck in :)
Firstly, how petty, irrelevant and unimportant are the same everyday issues that two weeks ago would have concerned me. I was never one to be stressed, but always concerned. I can't help but look at these same things now with a kind of sadness at how they ever used to bother me. Regret that I spent the last 6 years (my relatively short working life) worrying about something that, without your health, means nothing. It strikes me that for so many of us, our priorities are way out of whack. At least 5 of our 7 days a week are spent working, one recovering from the 5 days work, and one being enjoyed. I think there's a lesson in this. I also know however, that once I'm better I will probably start working harder than ever before in order to catch up on the time I've wasted on the couch. Maybe I need to take action to ensure that I don't have this option. Like booking my next travel stint!
Secondly, it instantly struck me how much of a setback this illness was going to be work-wise. How much it already has and is going to take away from everything I've spent the last 6 years working up to. I finally felt like I was getting somewhere, now I feel like I've been knocked back a few years. This is gutting. It's been a fight to get to where I was, an every day battle, literally. I'm not sure I'll have it in me to do the battle again when this is over. This may be a blessing in disguise, a chance to step back and really look at where I am heading. It is however the first time I felt that this illness has won, even in some small way.
On my arrival home, feeling not-so-happy, I found that a package had been delivered for me. Among other items, it contained a book, one the greatest ever written on the subject of human struggle. This was thoughtful, the inscription in the book however was incredible. It needs to be said that I don't know the sender very well, I met him only a few times before circumstances meant he was no longer directly involved in my life. He has however faced more than his share of problems in his similarly short life and this has given him the ability to write incredibly strength-inspiring words. His struggles have given him the gift of such empathy, I can only hope mine will do the same for me. Once again, my resolve falters, someone boosts me back up. Thank you for your thoughtful, inspiring and impeccably-timed gift!
Sanctimonious "I have seen the light"/ "poor me and my thwarted career plans" spiel over, I am taking requests for hair styles I can cut into my hair before the shaving. I have had: mullet, step, mohawk and platinum blonde. I have had to reject the platinum blonde (I think this alone will make all my hair fall out, I'll do it in a wig for ya instead!) but all others will be fulfilled. Anyone else with requests needs to get them in asap - I think it'll be buzz cut time by next week at the rate my hair (and eyelashes - they keep falling out and getting stuck in my eye- grrrr) is coming out. Requests on a postcard to the usual address.
Dinner-a-la-Nick is served, this lucky, spoiled and nausea-free lady is off to tuck in :)
Hope you had grt night,everything crossed for good scan result.lol liz xx
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