You know the Sunday night feeling? The one when you remembered you didn't have your homework done and were going to have to face school the next day and the fun of the weekend was over for another whole week. Or the night before an exam. Or even now at this age, just knowing you have a particularly tough week ahead. The Sunday night dread. I thought I had experienced dread, Sunday night or otherwise. I hadn't. This is dread. Dreading poison being pumped through my veins causing armageddon on my entire body. Dreading the fact that I will spend the next 6 months marinading in a stew of toxic waste designed to kill human cells. Knowing it's coming and that there's no way out of it is a feeling incomparable to anything I've felt before.
I cooked dinner for friends this evening ( well, its me, cooked means I bought a cooked chicken and reheated it with some veg and potatoes). Naturally, the fact that I would be poisoned this week came up in conversation. 'Like a good night out' he said. On the back of that hilariously observant comparison, we're going to try to start a trend and we need your help - 'how was the head after Saturday night?' ....' Awww I was totally Chemo'd, got sick all day'. Spread it round, you heard it here first.
Something tells me that in my 27 years, I have only experienced the PG version of a whole range of emotions. Cancer will give me the chance to really feel them. I can now say I have felt dread. Real dread. Sunday nights will be a breeze 6 months from now. There's one more thing to add to the 'upsides of cancer' list. Maybe it will help you all feel a little better about your Sunday night dread too :)
PS Nick's feeling a little sore that nobody has clicked the facebook 'like' buttons that he spent an hour setting up, do your good deed for the day and click on one. You'll make a little geek very happy.
I cooked dinner for friends this evening ( well, its me, cooked means I bought a cooked chicken and reheated it with some veg and potatoes). Naturally, the fact that I would be poisoned this week came up in conversation. 'Like a good night out' he said. On the back of that hilariously observant comparison, we're going to try to start a trend and we need your help - 'how was the head after Saturday night?' ....' Awww I was totally Chemo'd, got sick all day'. Spread it round, you heard it here first.
Something tells me that in my 27 years, I have only experienced the PG version of a whole range of emotions. Cancer will give me the chance to really feel them. I can now say I have felt dread. Real dread. Sunday nights will be a breeze 6 months from now. There's one more thing to add to the 'upsides of cancer' list. Maybe it will help you all feel a little better about your Sunday night dread too :)
PS Nick's feeling a little sore that nobody has clicked the facebook 'like' buttons that he spent an hour setting up, do your good deed for the day and click on one. You'll make a little geek very happy.
Done :) I will always think twice when I feel the Sunday night dread! Thanks Sona xxx
ReplyDeleteDone and done! Liked! Hope today was more peace-ful than dread-ful. xxxx
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