I seem to have entirely beaten the nausea. HOORRRAAAAYYY!! That still doesn't mean I can eat. Imagine a 5 course meal, with pitchers of beer and at the end of it someone comes out with a loaf of bread and tells you to eat it dry - that's my reaction to food of any kind. I don't feel sick, I just really really really don't want to eat it. I'm trying to nibble melba toast and crackers just to get something down. Something tells me I'm going to have a great hatred for crackers by Christmas.
Yesterday afternoon, my temperature shot up. Now, to a normal person this isn't a cause for concern, probably a cold. To a chemo person this is panic stations. I sat obsessively taking my temperature while shivering for about 3 hours, watching it climb 0.1 degree at a time. I have, over the last month or so, had the misfortune of experiencing what is called Pel-Ebstein fever. It is a rarely seen phenomenon in Hodgkins lymphoma sufferers which causes your temperature to rise for a week or so, then fall for a week or so for no apparent reason. (As if the chances of me getting Lymphoma at all weren't low enough, I have to have a horrible rare symptom of it too, thanks lady luck. You seriously owe me after this. I'm talking Euromillions). I have had my week off and so it was about time for it to start again. Much scarier now though when you have been warned and warned and warned of infection and the risk even a common cold can pose. I took a couple of ibuprofen (naughty naughty, I'm not supposed to self medicate) and it came down. Back up again through the night meaning not much sleep was had. Seems to be OK now though (usually fires up around 5pm so I have one more hour). Ibuprofen at the ready.
Today started with a doctor at the fertility clinic I did my testing at last week leaving me this message 'Hi Sonya (first mistake), this is Dr. Dumbass at the gobshite clinic. If you could give me a call back urgently please, the blood tests you did last week have shown some problems'. Now, calling up someone who has cancer, has just done chemo 1, is worried about her fertility as a result and leaving this message is unreal. To make it worse, he wouldn't take my return call for 2 hours. Eventually I got him. What was it going to be? I was already infertile anyway? My fertility was so low that chemo was going to finish me off? I was already pregnant? (It occurred to me that nobody did a pregnancy test on me before starting chemo!)....No, he wanted to know when I had had hepatitis A. I told him I have never had hepatitis A. He said that's not possible as I had antibodies. I told him I had had the Hep A and Hep B vaccination before travelling a few years ago and could that be it? Ohhhh yes, that's it then, that's fine. OK, bye. I'm going to egg his office next time I'm there.
I have, with much sadness, decided I'm not up to cirque du soleil tonight. Instead, I will be sitting in the same spot on the couch I've been on since Tuesday. The exhaustion, which could be the chemo, the lack of food, the general depression due to the whole situation, or most likely a combination of all of the above, is debilitating. It's like a fog in your brain, you're too tired to form sentences let alone move. My Mam came over today to take me out for a drive (I really am 27 years old, I promise. I do however have cancer and happen to enjoy being driven around an unusual amount for someone my age, Nick can vouch for this. Born to have a chauffeur I think. This is where the Euromillions will come in handy.). We were in the car a half hour before I was asleep and being shipped back to the couch. It's a sad day when you realise you cant even be driven in a car without being exhausted.
In other chemo-related news, my hair hurts. I know that sounds crazy but it does. Like it has been tied in too tight a ponytail for a day and then let down (ladies you will understand, gents think of it like your hair is being pulled creating a kind of ache). I assume this means its going to happen soon, egg-ness. I'm ready for it. Just praying my neck goes down in size soon. If there's one thing guaranteed to make a bald chick look worse it's if her neck is wider than her head. Now there's a wish I never thought I'd be wishing - that my neck shrinks before I'm bald. Just goes to show, you never know whats coming for you and how your priorities change as a result.
Yesterday afternoon, my temperature shot up. Now, to a normal person this isn't a cause for concern, probably a cold. To a chemo person this is panic stations. I sat obsessively taking my temperature while shivering for about 3 hours, watching it climb 0.1 degree at a time. I have, over the last month or so, had the misfortune of experiencing what is called Pel-Ebstein fever. It is a rarely seen phenomenon in Hodgkins lymphoma sufferers which causes your temperature to rise for a week or so, then fall for a week or so for no apparent reason. (As if the chances of me getting Lymphoma at all weren't low enough, I have to have a horrible rare symptom of it too, thanks lady luck. You seriously owe me after this. I'm talking Euromillions). I have had my week off and so it was about time for it to start again. Much scarier now though when you have been warned and warned and warned of infection and the risk even a common cold can pose. I took a couple of ibuprofen (naughty naughty, I'm not supposed to self medicate) and it came down. Back up again through the night meaning not much sleep was had. Seems to be OK now though (usually fires up around 5pm so I have one more hour). Ibuprofen at the ready.
Today started with a doctor at the fertility clinic I did my testing at last week leaving me this message 'Hi Sonya (first mistake), this is Dr. Dumbass at the gobshite clinic. If you could give me a call back urgently please, the blood tests you did last week have shown some problems'. Now, calling up someone who has cancer, has just done chemo 1, is worried about her fertility as a result and leaving this message is unreal. To make it worse, he wouldn't take my return call for 2 hours. Eventually I got him. What was it going to be? I was already infertile anyway? My fertility was so low that chemo was going to finish me off? I was already pregnant? (It occurred to me that nobody did a pregnancy test on me before starting chemo!)....No, he wanted to know when I had had hepatitis A. I told him I have never had hepatitis A. He said that's not possible as I had antibodies. I told him I had had the Hep A and Hep B vaccination before travelling a few years ago and could that be it? Ohhhh yes, that's it then, that's fine. OK, bye. I'm going to egg his office next time I'm there.
I have, with much sadness, decided I'm not up to cirque du soleil tonight. Instead, I will be sitting in the same spot on the couch I've been on since Tuesday. The exhaustion, which could be the chemo, the lack of food, the general depression due to the whole situation, or most likely a combination of all of the above, is debilitating. It's like a fog in your brain, you're too tired to form sentences let alone move. My Mam came over today to take me out for a drive (I really am 27 years old, I promise. I do however have cancer and happen to enjoy being driven around an unusual amount for someone my age, Nick can vouch for this. Born to have a chauffeur I think. This is where the Euromillions will come in handy.). We were in the car a half hour before I was asleep and being shipped back to the couch. It's a sad day when you realise you cant even be driven in a car without being exhausted.
In other chemo-related news, my hair hurts. I know that sounds crazy but it does. Like it has been tied in too tight a ponytail for a day and then let down (ladies you will understand, gents think of it like your hair is being pulled creating a kind of ache). I assume this means its going to happen soon, egg-ness. I'm ready for it. Just praying my neck goes down in size soon. If there's one thing guaranteed to make a bald chick look worse it's if her neck is wider than her head. Now there's a wish I never thought I'd be wishing - that my neck shrinks before I'm bald. Just goes to show, you never know whats coming for you and how your priorities change as a result.
Hi Sona. In 2010 we went part of the way on a long journey with you and Nick across a massive desert, hundreds of miles from civilisation. You were driving an ambulance (Divorced Eggs) - 10,000 miles of adventure over mountains and deserts. Steve and Candy were in their Micra (Cargo Fargo). I am Steve’s mum, I was sweating morning and night as I tracked you over the mountains, egging you on across the remote terrain as you parked overnight near the beautiful lakes. I thought you had taken the wrong road....... help!! There was no road.....you got through, you made it!!
ReplyDeleteToday we have read your Pacman blog. Wow!! You are a remarkable lady so now we are on another journey in life with you, following and egging you on once again. Watch out Pacman because Sona is on the road again!! We are all here to support you through the highs and lows. Keep your chin up Sona. With Love Paula & Fez (Dartmoor, England) XX
Hi Paula,lovely to meet you finally (kind of!). We heard a lot about you! Thank you so much for the lovely message. The carefree version of me driving to Mongolia seems a million miles from where I am now to be honest, makes 10,000 miles seem easy! I'll get there though. Just like we got to Mongolia. Like that trip, this too will one day be history, a memory of a great challenge that was overcome! Thanks again for the message, it really made me smile. Sona xxx
DeleteWhat's that doctor's address? Serious call for drive by eggings!!!!! Couldn't help but laugh while reading, brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI totally get what you're talking about the sore hair when it's been in a pony tail too tight! OUCH you poor thing.. Stay strong you're doing great xx
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