Ok, panic, crying and feeling like I'm already dead OVER. I have regrouped. I have had a great weekend, thanks once again to Nick who talked me out of depression first thing Saturday morning and made sure I carried on as normal by allowing me to do 4 loads of laundry, the grocery shopping as well as the cooking and cleaning up of all meals over the weekend. Isn't he just swell?? It's just want I needed though, life as usual. He refuses to let me wallow. Wallowing is such a slippery slope. He also painted the bathroom that I'd been nagging him for months about (we had only moved to our newly renovated and nowhere near finished/furnished house shortly before I was diagnosed and a lot has gotten left behind in the unfortunate re-prioritisation of our lives). Now, I should point out that it's less of the airy, bright, flowery bathroom I had wanted and more 'bat-cave' since he decided to take artistic control and painted the entire room, ceiling and all, dark grey but at least it's done. I'll repaint it pink while he's at work on one of my good weeks.
Anyway, regardless of my bathroom woes, which are for once not gastro-intestinal, we had a lovely day out today with friends, family, doggies and sushi. What more could I want? No cancer I suppose, that'd be nice. But I'll get there. I don't think I would have enjoyed today nearly as much if I didn't have Friday to compare it to. There's some truth in the cliche of experiencing the lows to appreciate the highs. Cancer does nothing if it doesn't give perspective.
2 more months and I'll be a couple of days away from heading off on my lovely holiday. I can do 2 more months. I have no choice. But knowing that in those 8 weeks there will be 4 good weeks as well as 4 bad weeks makes it easier. Even the bad weeks will be good from now on, I'll make it happen. This week my oldest and bestest buddy is visiting from much lovelier lands and will be hanging out with me on the couch until I emerge from the fog and we can have a weekend of fun. It was supposed to be my 'end of treatment celebration' but instead, since I was fighting for more chemo when they told me I didn't need it, and now I'm getting just that - MORE F*****N CHEMO, I'm going to call it my 'I always get my way' celebration. Let that be a lesson to you Pacman, I always win.
Anyway, regardless of my bathroom woes, which are for once not gastro-intestinal, we had a lovely day out today with friends, family, doggies and sushi. What more could I want? No cancer I suppose, that'd be nice. But I'll get there. I don't think I would have enjoyed today nearly as much if I didn't have Friday to compare it to. There's some truth in the cliche of experiencing the lows to appreciate the highs. Cancer does nothing if it doesn't give perspective.
2 more months and I'll be a couple of days away from heading off on my lovely holiday. I can do 2 more months. I have no choice. But knowing that in those 8 weeks there will be 4 good weeks as well as 4 bad weeks makes it easier. Even the bad weeks will be good from now on, I'll make it happen. This week my oldest and bestest buddy is visiting from much lovelier lands and will be hanging out with me on the couch until I emerge from the fog and we can have a weekend of fun. It was supposed to be my 'end of treatment celebration' but instead, since I was fighting for more chemo when they told me I didn't need it, and now I'm getting just that - MORE F*****N CHEMO, I'm going to call it my 'I always get my way' celebration. Let that be a lesson to you Pacman, I always win.
Hi Sona,
ReplyDeleteI love your attitude, and Of-course you will win, remember, you're a Yergainharsian ;-))))
KokoLoco