Today I went to the hospital for what I thought was going to be my end of treatment appointment. It turns out it was my 'oops, sorry, you need 6 months of chemo after all' appointment. Due to a disagreement/oversight/ cock up on my scan 6 weeks ago, the head guy is not sure 4 months is enough and wants me to do a full 6 months of chemo. I was geared up to have my last chemo in 4 days. To have no more injections, have my PICC line removed and have a decent covering of hair by christmas.
Instead, I have 5 more chemos, 2 more months of injections and PICC line, and, and this is by far the worst part, I am no longer one of those pretty much guaranteed to be cured people . Having an 'unclean' scan after 2 months is significantly worse prognosis-wise than a 'clean' scan. This feels worse than actually being diagnosed. I have literally no words. Except why oh why can I not be normal??
Instead, I have 5 more chemos, 2 more months of injections and PICC line, and, and this is by far the worst part, I am no longer one of those pretty much guaranteed to be cured people . Having an 'unclean' scan after 2 months is significantly worse prognosis-wise than a 'clean' scan. This feels worse than actually being diagnosed. I have literally no words. Except why oh why can I not be normal??
Hey Sona!!! you are NORMAL its what life throws at us that makes us feel not normal. I haven't suffered the big C as you are but some things have tested me to breaking point. We are normal and we have to continue to be strong no matter what is thrown at us. Keep on being amazing Sona you inspire me and I know from reading all your blogs you inspire many others. You can get through this. Keep your chin up. With Love Paula XX
ReplyDeleteI agree with Paula :-) It's a setback but keep the chin up. You'll feel normal by Hallowe'en :-)
ReplyDeleteSona I think you are right to have more treatment just to make sure you remember you did not want to stop when you we're told first so here's to kicking PAC man in the bum for good love rita
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