So, it has been another month, almost 2, since the last post and life carries on. Work is normal, home is normal, life is normal. Normal but different.
Last night I had my first haircut in about 16 months and for the first time in that 16 months my hair is longer than Nick's again. Albeit more to do with the fact that he had a haircut also the day before me and they were a bit over-zealous with the razor than it is as a result of my own hair growth but a nice milestone nonetheless.
I was also at the doctor last weekend, nothing to do with the hodge. During chemo I got quite bad ear ringing that was put down to nerve damage. Towards the last month a kind of crackling was added to the ringing. This has continued, along with the ringing, since then and has gotten worse over the last week. A couple of days ago I had had enough and decided that it was obviously unrelated to chemo and to go to the doctor. Two interesting things came of it aside from the doctors diagnosis of 'its nothing, put these ear drops in, you'll be grand' in true Irish style. Firstly, when looking in my ears he announced that my ears looked healthy. That's good. Then that they looked clean. That's nice. Then that overall my personal hygiene was excellent for a teenager. Hmmmm. At 28 years old and rocking a middle aged at best hair do, I'm not sure if this is an insult or a compliment. But, more importantly, I realised just how 'fine' I feel to even notice the crackling in my ears. 6 months ago it was the least painful/irritating/upsetting and worrying of a world of symptoms. Now, it's all I have to complain about. That's a weirdly nice feeling! And now that we have confirmation that my personal hygiene is up to scratch and that my hair is no longer the shortest, Nick has nothing to complain about either. Poor guy has had a lot to put up with.
The hairdresser asked me if I had been self conscious about going bald headed. I told her not around friends and family but I'd never been able to muster the courage to go out in public. She asked did I have a boyfriend and when I said yes she asked did I let him see me bald. I told her I lived with him and so it would have been hard to hide. Oh, she said. Silence. 'And are you still together'?? HA! Well, this is coming from the same person who said she always thought that it must be so hard to have no eyelashes because all the water would get in your eyes in the shower. Genius.
Anyway, so end of April is my scan with results appointment first week in May. I won't say that relapse doesn't enter my mind 125 times a day, because that would be a lie. It's 155 times a day. Rather than decreasing as time goes on, the worry seems to be increasing as it gets closer to scan time. I think the 6 month wait was too long. After April I'm planning on insisting that someone at least gives my neck a bit of a grope and stabs me for some blood tests every 3 months for a year or so. 6 months with no reassurance is torture. So, to take my mind off it, post chemo lovely holiday #3 is upcoming, 9 days to be exact. I'll be sipping Corona and eating guacamole while on a perfect beach in Mexico. Heaven.
I'll sign off for now, hope you're all doing super :)
Sx
Last night I had my first haircut in about 16 months and for the first time in that 16 months my hair is longer than Nick's again. Albeit more to do with the fact that he had a haircut also the day before me and they were a bit over-zealous with the razor than it is as a result of my own hair growth but a nice milestone nonetheless.
I was also at the doctor last weekend, nothing to do with the hodge. During chemo I got quite bad ear ringing that was put down to nerve damage. Towards the last month a kind of crackling was added to the ringing. This has continued, along with the ringing, since then and has gotten worse over the last week. A couple of days ago I had had enough and decided that it was obviously unrelated to chemo and to go to the doctor. Two interesting things came of it aside from the doctors diagnosis of 'its nothing, put these ear drops in, you'll be grand' in true Irish style. Firstly, when looking in my ears he announced that my ears looked healthy. That's good. Then that they looked clean. That's nice. Then that overall my personal hygiene was excellent for a teenager. Hmmmm. At 28 years old and rocking a middle aged at best hair do, I'm not sure if this is an insult or a compliment. But, more importantly, I realised just how 'fine' I feel to even notice the crackling in my ears. 6 months ago it was the least painful/irritating/upsetting and worrying of a world of symptoms. Now, it's all I have to complain about. That's a weirdly nice feeling! And now that we have confirmation that my personal hygiene is up to scratch and that my hair is no longer the shortest, Nick has nothing to complain about either. Poor guy has had a lot to put up with.
The hairdresser asked me if I had been self conscious about going bald headed. I told her not around friends and family but I'd never been able to muster the courage to go out in public. She asked did I have a boyfriend and when I said yes she asked did I let him see me bald. I told her I lived with him and so it would have been hard to hide. Oh, she said. Silence. 'And are you still together'?? HA! Well, this is coming from the same person who said she always thought that it must be so hard to have no eyelashes because all the water would get in your eyes in the shower. Genius.
Anyway, so end of April is my scan with results appointment first week in May. I won't say that relapse doesn't enter my mind 125 times a day, because that would be a lie. It's 155 times a day. Rather than decreasing as time goes on, the worry seems to be increasing as it gets closer to scan time. I think the 6 month wait was too long. After April I'm planning on insisting that someone at least gives my neck a bit of a grope and stabs me for some blood tests every 3 months for a year or so. 6 months with no reassurance is torture. So, to take my mind off it, post chemo lovely holiday #3 is upcoming, 9 days to be exact. I'll be sipping Corona and eating guacamole while on a perfect beach in Mexico. Heaven.
I'll sign off for now, hope you're all doing super :)
Sx
Sona.
ReplyDeleteSo good to read your lovely message and know that you have only minor worries! Thinking of you as always. Just want to wish you and Nick a wonderful holiday in Mexico and as the cartoon Speedy Gonzales says "¡¡andale andale, arriba arriba!!" Sent with Lots of Love
Paula & family XXX